Do you see them?

You see them, but you don’t

After the first meeting, you will take home her smile and grace

You will remember her for that smile

Her bold attitude might surprise you in the beginning

Her gestures will leave you impressed

That she is evocative, is no secret

Now if you are friends with her, her eyes will talk to you

And you will find her, irritatingly “self- sacrificing” in her own words

All this while, you see them, but you don’t

Lips are passive as compared to eyes which convey a lot

May be that is why, they don’t attract your attention when you meet her first or may be second time.

It will not be an exaggeration to say that lips….yes her lips, are the most defining feature of her face.

Hmm…let me say that while creating her, the Almighty must have spent maximum time on doing her lips.

No wonder then, they are so wholesome

Delicate like dew

Fresh like that breeze at the time of dawn

Complete like the rainbow

Pleasing to the eye

There are layers to them, hints of them unexplored

And lovely like the skin of a baby

They can quench the thirst of a thousand deserts

Those who say “main apne yaar ki aankhon se peena chahta hoon”, have not seen her lips

They are hidden behind that smile (the loveliest I have ever seen on this planet) which haunts you

You see them, but you don’t

Out of ordinary

He knew that the once fat now fit girl might not be the best when it comes to winning a beauty pageant. In fact, she was what they called 'the girl next door'. She was simple, down to earth, modern and yet had her feet firm on the ground. Yes, she was not out of ordinary.

But his experience and interactions made him believe that simplicity was rare in those days.

And that made her out of ordinary.

For him, she was hope, comfort and much more.

Like when you are lost in crowd and suddenly you see a known face...you both wave at each other....you feel at ease...

She was that ease for him.

After she would be gone, remembering her would make life easy for him. A breeze of comfort in utter chaos.

Strange, but that was his truth !

The view

"Let's play it safe then," said she, after it became clear that their relationship would not culminate into the 'I do' business. And thus began a new chapter in their lives. One, where they were to live in the moment as they enjoyed each others' company and grew fonder of it, with time.

But the two saw it differently.

He, knowing the fact that it was not meant to be, never thought of holding himself back. He was of a kind who believed in expressing his thoughts for her every time he felt like doing it. No riders attached. No inhibitions. Always speaking his heart!

Deep in his heart, he was sad to think that in the time to come, she would embrace someone else....and that he could not help, but accept it as it is.

Nonetheless, admiring her kept him jolly. In her he found something, which was absent in all other women he knew of. Absent even in that "someone special".

His constant adulation left her wondering whether he was speaking in earnest, or was this plain infatuation (which, in turn, prompted him to think that can't infatuation be earnest - serious in intention, purpose or effort?....in fact he was hurt, though that was never her purpose.....He never liked the idea of putting labels to his feelings!).

That's how the guy looked at it.

However, she, knowing that they were unable to change their fortunes, was always (or let 's say, 'quite often') on a look out for ways to make it easy for both of them.

Never ever reciprocating to his chivalrous comments. "Because I am sensible", she reasoned.

Not giving a slight hint of what she thought of him. 'Good' and 'worthy' was all he knew of her perception about him.

The fact that she vied for his company, and liked to spend quality time with him spoke a lot of her feelings for the guy. Also, at times, she did express regret over the fact that the situation was not in their favor.

But then that was it.

But then somehow, he was always under the impression that she was holding herself back. May be her past was haunting her, or every day she was reminding herself that he was just a friend.

Whatever.

It is not as if the guy wanted her to break all the barriers. No, never.

Observing her for hours, capturing her mood swings and knowing her more, was all he wanted, in the little time they were left with. And yes, he was waiting for that one meeting which would be different from the rest.

She could make him happier by making him believe that she was enjoying every moment with him; by not thinking about the future; by going with the flow; and by not reminding herself that he was just a friend when they both knew that he was actually just a friend.

This way, he would feel light about the whole thing.

Is this it ?

More than a year has passed since I parted ways with what they call a "someone special". It left me with a void. I had no option but to live with that. Lot of my friends went for "someone else" when continuing with "someone special" was no more possible. Somehow, I never bought that theory and 'single' remained my status- life was not rocking, but then I had no complaints.

Some meetings with her followed. I knew her as an acquaintance. Now, I was getting to know the person- outspoken, bold, honest and a chocolate lover.

Then one day, I did what I was sure of not even attempting. Just the thought of writing fiction (anything non-news, no facts) used to scare me. "I can't write out of nothing....how the hell do they write in the air?" I used to wonder. I got myself a blog and published a post. "How the hell did you do that?" I asked myself.

I have not stopped writing since , but believe you me, I still don't know how do I do it? Off course, she is everything to my posts- the heart, soul and body, but then is this it? She is wondering if my adulation for her is in earnest or am I in the throes of a momentary fevered infatuation?

After a lot of thinking, umpteen mugs of coffee and enough of head scratching, I reached the conclusion that I do not know if this is it....Neither do I wish to know.

If you want, I can tell you what goes into my writings- I sit, I see her and I write what comes to my head. It cant get any simpler!

On a second thought, I would say that it means a lot to me because if there is one person who has been able to inspire me to do something which I have always been running away from, its her. She is magic.

Now for the questions such as why only her? Is this infatuation or more ? Why did I never write for someone else before? I would say I have no clue. May be ten years from now, I can give you sensible, logical answer. At this moment, I dont know. "Confused" you find me?

Naaa....See, I am clear about what I feel for her and what I expect out of this relationship. I am happy that she gave me this blog and as she wants to believe, I am evolving as a writer. I am going to cherish absolutely each and every moment I have and will be spending with her.

I adore her. If you wish to know my feelings for her, then you got to read my posts. I feel all that and much more, which I will write in the future.

Its just that I am at a loss when it comes to that one word that truly conveys what I feel for her. I have no answer if you ask me to put my feelings in today's parlance where words such as friendship, infatuation, couples, dating, and love etc, define our relationship with each other.

Do I know her? II

In my first post I was wondering if I knew her. After 11 posts and 34 days, I am still looking for the answer. But then in these meetings, I have surely known some of her habits and fears which I was not aware of.

Chocolates, chocolates, chocolates and more chocolates. As she says, she can drown in them (will it be like…just chocolate on her? Ooooohh!....Come back you creep). She can survive without oxygen, but life will be meaningless without chocolates. It is the one thing which she cannot say no to.

She is a baby…You might say that she is a woman of 25, mature enough to take wise decisions, she is bold…Yes…I agree. What m saying is that when you start knowing her, you will find that she is stubborn, she binges on street food, she smiles like a baby, is a daredevil and then you must see her eating chocolates….you will get what I am saying.

Though I saw her lot of times, I recently discovered (she often taunts me saying that I describe things like they do on ‘Discovery’ channel) that her skin has a glow and freshness which we see on a baby...It is fresh. It is like that shade which you look for while you have been walking in the sun for long….It is a comfort for the eyes.

They say that one life is not enough to know someone. Whatever little I know about her, I guess she does not believe in planning. She lives with the moment and lives it to the fullest.

She is a pro at dancing.

I was not aware of that fatal look before I saw that picture of hers and then wrote about it (Hypnosis). She calls it the ‘Madhuri Dixit pose.’

She enjoys pillion riding. In fact, one day I am going take her on a long drive. But when it comes to getting off a bike, it gives her goose bumps.

Yes, that mole on her nape. One day I will write on what I felt when I saw it for the first time. It is going to haunt me for days to come. All I can tell you now is , that it left me wanting more...

So, do I know her?