Monday, February 1, 2010

Do I know her?

She actually smiles. Others fake it. Hers is natural. In fact that was the first things I noted when I first saw her. Her smile has got the innocence of a baby. It’s pure. Like the water in a running river. Like the sunlight. It can act as a therapy for those who can’t stop complaining. It’s soothing. It’s complete. It’s full of zeal. She can create bonds by meeting people just once. That’s the magic of her smile. I will remember her for her smile. It’s natural.

Oh yes, “natural” she is. She speaks her heart. She does not pretend. She does not care what the world thinks about her. She is what she is. Bold or bindaas, as they say. And she wants to be accepted that way. She lives life on her own terms.

Or does she?

She has lost her father. Brother lives far off. She is with her mother. In between there is space. She has created it, I would say. It’s her space. She has created a castle here. She lives here with her dreams- “Career”, “Singing”, “Traveling”, “Writing a book”, “Romance”. While she has spoken to me about her other dreams, she never mentioned “singing”. But believe me, she is really good at it. Romantic melodies and the ones where the female is longing for her love, remain close to her heart. And her knowledge of Hindi film songs complements the same. She can give our best Radio jockeys, a run for their money.

I truly want the Almighty to give her what she wants. I am waiting for the moment when I can tell her “I am happy for you.”

Unlike others, she is not cribbing.

She is strong. Stronger than lot of us. I don’t know how you feel about it, but I believe it takes guts to create that castle; to live with those dreams; and to accomplish them. No, I am not feeling sad for her. Neither am I taking her side. I am just putting her against those who give up easily and blame their destiny for every wrong. She is a fighter. I respect her for that !

But then she cries if she watches SRK crying on screen. Her eyes are wet if she is listening to a sad number. The child in her is very much alive. Let me say, lot of us have killed that child, knowingly or unknowingly. That adds another layer to her personality.

She loves munching chocolates (crazy about dark ones). She does not mind hard drinks. She watches horror movies post mid night knowing that she would get scared.' She adores SRK. Jon Abraham comes second.

Last heard, she was single but emotionally unavailable.

She claims that she starts dancing in the theatre if she likes the beats of the song in the movie. She is a true friend. Like her smile, her friendship, too, is sacred. One with no selfish motives.

She loves her mother like anything. She is like a mother to her mother. Her brother is the second most important person in her life. Friends come third.

Why is it that every time I meet her, I ask myself “do I know her?” Is this all she wants us to know because the rest belongs to her space? Or actually this is this all about her? Is she a true Gemini, with dual personalities? Or is she an exception? Is there is a much bigger world of hers, which none is aware of? Or is her life an open book? Has she told us everything? Or she has concealed more than what she revealed?

Whatever the case is, I just know that in no time, I got a friend, a critic, an observer (“I am an irritated chap” was one of her observations) and a genuine person in my life.

Confessions: I am lucky to have lot of friends. But I don't know them as much as I know her (or rather don't know ). I have never written about any of them. "Why have I written about her?".....I really dont know.

Friends come. Friends go. But we fear losing some. I fear losing her.

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